Toys R Me

Yes, I am an adult. Yes, I still buy toys.

If I had guessed what my bedroom would look like at 28, I would not have imagined a pile of plushies neatly assembled at the head of the bed. Or that a gathering of Sylvanian Family members would be perched on my bedside table. But here I am, a mere 28-year-old adult, still enchanted by and actively purchasing toys.

I recently had the task of decluttering my parents' garage, where I had been hoarding all my "things." Among this pile of vintage treasures and stashed fabric was about two-thirds of all the toys I had ever owned. They were all there—the Bratz, My Scene, Barbie, Polly Pocket, Littlest Pet Shop. Oh, and the Beanie Kids! After Beanie Bears came Beanie Kids, and in primary school, I was an avid collector. My best friends and I would have sleepovers where we'd bring all our Beanie Kids together and lust after the super rare ones.

The strange and wonderful thing about rediscovering these toys was how vividly I remembered them. I hadn't played with them in over 15 years, yet I still knew them so intimately. To the delight (or horror) of my Instagram followers, I managed to remember the names of 90% of the Beanie Kids. I couldn't tell you what I did the day before, but I could clearly recall Bone-A-Part the Poodle and Peep the Meerkat. My brain is truly full of many useless things!

Me and my bestie with our beanie kid collection. And, yes, I used to be tan!

The great thing about being an adult is that you’re basically a child with money. Within reason, you can buy all the things you always wanted but could never have. A prime example: a former colleague once brought one of her Sylvanians to work. Now, if you don’t know what Sylvanians are—or if you think I’m referring to a small Eastern European community—Sylvanians (known as Calico Critters in the US) are flocked plastic animal figurines from Japan. They come in all sorts of species and are ridiculously f’ing cute.

I loved that my colleague was using her financial independence to indulge in her childhood dream of owning Sylvanians. Like her, I had never owned them as a kid. Next thing you know, we were opening Sylvanian blind bags at our desks and discussing the cutest ones we wanted to collect.

Sylvanian babies!

As embarrassing as this might sound, the most surprising thing is how many of my friends also collect toys. Whether it’s OMG LOL Dolls, Sonny Angels, or Star Wars figurines, I am far from alone in being an adult who is still smitten with toys.

Once, my boyfriend surprised me with a Pingu plushie. Part of me was over the moon at how thoughtful and cute it was. The other part of me why wondering why the hell does he let me indulge in these childish habits. But then I remembered—he also deals with me sobbing on the living room floor. If a plush penguin makes me happy for an hour, I’d probably give my depressed girlfriend a Pingu toy too.

How I imagine my boyfriend sees our bed.

Maybe it’s a family thing. My cousin has a Cabbage Patch Doll that she’s so attached to, we half-expected him to be the ring bearer at her wedding. My mum was an avid teddy bear collector and has slept with her loyal Harry Bear since before I was born. And, even my Nana collected Beatrix Potter toys.

Now, to embarrass myself even further - it’s not only toys I enjoy, it’s also kids TV.

I’m not much of a YouTube watcher (except for rare record listings), but last year, during my most stressful workdays, I found myself decompressing on the couch by watching Nanalan and Tots TV. Both were the light at the end of my dreary workday.

Tots TV is like if the cast of EastEnders were puppets who lived in a forest with a donkey and had sharehouse spats—highly recommend! And Nanalan is the sweetest, cutest thing I have ever seen. I just want to go hang at Nana’s house. They are both such sweet and funny shows! Plus, I absolutely love puppets, but that’s another whole post. Each year, I also have to watch the My Little Pony movie and Barbie & The Rockers/Sensations. Oh, how I wish that Barbie soundtrack was on Spotify!

Nanalan, Tots TV, My Little Pony Movie, Barbie & The Rockers

I’m also a fan of TV shows about the history of toys—the drama, the drive, the total mystery of what makes a toy a hit, and the designers tearing their hair out trying to figure out what these fiddly, wriggling little brats want. There’s always more scandal than an episode of Desperate Housewives.

Did you know the creator of Cabbage Patch Dolls was ripped off by Xavier Roberts? Yes, the Xavier Roberts, whose name is tattooed on the ass of every doll. No, not weird at all. Anyway, the original creator, Martha Nelson Thomas, was a gentle soft sculptor, and those dolls were her heart and soul. At her funeral, the pews were lined with her doll baby creations. Reminder to self: I always wanted a Cabbage Patch Doll too.

I know this all might sound childish or immature (or insane!), but there’s nothing harmful about enjoying the cute, innocent charm of toys and children’s TV. And to clarify—no, I do not play with the toys. I just love the joy they bring me and their delightful cuteness.

At the end of the day, I could be spending my money on bags of coke, like other corporate yuppies my age. Instead, I’m buying Sylvanian blind bags and I’m okay with that.

Love,

CB xx

P.S I did recently acquire the pink 90s Barbie Dreamhouse on my wishlist. Thank you, Mum!